this week has been awesome... though ya more than half of it was kinda unprepared and stuff.. but it really got better as it progressed.
this week i've committed myself to help out at a primary school as internship, because i didnt want to be doing nothing.. despite pastor's warning of burn out and serving so much though (everyone) hopes i'm resting well and preparing for the next phase of life, i still went ahead to take up this internship for this week. basically, we organised basketball matches on the primary school court and arty farty activities for the kids during their recesses, with the intention of building relationships with them. im very encouraged by the seed God had planted in guo nian, wei chiang and jason as they planned the activities and all to really help the kids. its like, i didnt really feel that kind of compassion for the children, misled and little as they are, i couldnt look into the future, what kind of impact we'd be having on them when they grow up. but i had fun with them still, interacting and listening to their jokes and stories.
that was in the primary school. yesterday, i went to another location in this place called Djoy. it was an after school care for children, and i think most of them came from dysfunctional families.. it was then that i saw a whole new bunch of other kids, naughty, impatient, hyper active and really disobedient. i manhandled a boy out of a room because he refused to get out when he wasnt meant to be there. talked to a boy who screamed into another boy's ear and was unwilling to apologize. talked to the boy who was crying because he got screamed at, and was totally unwilling to forgive, even if the other boy did apologize.
but one thing caught me here, i asked him if he thought he was a good boy. he said no. at least he acknowledged humans are all naughty at times! but when i told him thats why everyone needs forgiveness, he remained silent. to forgive is really difficult, even though you know its good and you also want to let go of painful thoughts and memories..
and lastly, helped an elderly aunty clear up her home. well.. not really cause she doesnt want her home to be cleared. her 2 room flat was stacked full of rubbish she picks up everywhere!! like totally, up to the ceiling. worse than BB's sharity gift box! ok imagine this: your storeroom. its full of extra stuff lying around right? but all stacked neatly and high in the storeroom. almost like a neat junkyard. and that's just one small room tucked away in some corner of your beautiful house. her house WAS the storeroom. all the plastic bags with extra stuff inside. some of them were damp and wet with I-DONT-KNOW-WHAT-THAT-LIQUID-IS, some of them dusty and laden with cockroach shit, all junk. spoilt rice cookers, fans, cans, etc. cockroaches running everywhere, just like that. and she blocked up all her rooms with junk that she could only sleep on the small space of floor in the living room. my friends spent the whole of last week clearing the living room, and when i went there, we were clearing the kitchen. and the other 2 rooms were still packed full of junk. how could anyone live in that crap! it was worse than a slum! all the insects running around, the smell! altogether, we emptied about 30 HUGE TRASH BAGS OF RUBBISH from her unit. it was hard work and im sure i lost so much weight, more than all the basketball playing this entire week. when we left the aunty alone after walking with her to sell off her load of cans (they paid her 2.10bucks for that), we said a prayer for her. it was after that that she wept and told us about how her son couldnt take care of her. (he'd come "home" occasionally to smoke and sleep for a day or two before disappearing again) she was usually cheery and happy, and stubborn about us throwing away her stuff, but at that time she revealed the crux of why she lived in that dump, that her son didnt take care of her, so she basically had to make a living with that junk. just that sometimes, shes so weak she cant even walk to sell off those stuff..
so i encountered both the young and old this week, and all along i tried to keep the attitude of "doing the work of which the father has sent me", and not think of many things that may have made me sidetrack, but the second verse that kept popping up in my mind was "train a child in a way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." (proverbs 22:6) and "remember your creator in the days of your youth" (ecc 12:1)
and i kept thinking of how it is so easy to backslide over the many years of our lives. how our hearts can be so hardened over years of hiding/ fleeing from acknowledgement of our need for God, wallowing in our own self-created Gods, weird ideologies, thinkings and thoughts. eg, like how that old woman thought she owned a lot (because she could sell them), when it was all junk. how if we dont keep remembering our creator, eventually we would forget him, and subconciously make ourselves other Gods which we wont even be aware of, and drifting away from the one true love. then we'll be caught in our own world satan made for us, of hopelessness, of discouragement, of nonchalence. "no use one la", "its always the same", "life sucks".
and such adults exist. i know some of them.. seeds are sown but not all of it falls on fertile ground, and wastes away. anyone can believe in Jesus christ and be saved, but not many remain in Him, and allow Him to remain in them, before bearing fruit, fruit that will last. (john 15:5)
that gave me my heart for the children, that it is so important that they are trained in a way they should go, and that from the word of God. and if they do not, what will happen? will they become like the son who left his mom alone to collect junk and make a living? will they have children and leave them in the lurch so they become impatient, violent, and disobedient?
it is just so different when you are there yourself, to see the aunty's tears, to see and smell her house, to communicate with children, good or bad. Christ loves them all and so should we. and it has been a great experience, though i know i havent been still before the Lord enough times because im way too tired this week. i still need to learn to be the Mary.
also, got to interact more with the trackers once again, with weichiang, guo nian, jason, ashley, lynnette, gareth, matthias and tiffany. another group of ppl that adds more dimension to trackers 09 for me:) im truly blessed in many ways from each of their lives.. OH and lois and janice though i see them every week:) and dionne and her friends, thanks for volunteering!
God please continue to show me what your plans for me are, and what i can take home from this week of internship. and help me to be mary, to just be silent and sit at your feet, because only one thing is needed. (luke 10: 41-42)
In Each Hand A Cutlass, a local band... their music is awesome, very alternative with the ambient keyboard and guitar sounds.. the very genre i'm in love with! totally drives me high! this is the kind of sound! pls hear it ppl! its kinda a half dream to be able to play in such a band like this live. besides enjoying the stage, you enjoy the music while playing... whoaa. after some thought, i distinguished the kinds of bands that i like already. usually people just put everything they listen to, but i want to be specific and not just throw out jason mraz (yux) or jonas brothers (yuxors) or paramore. here goes! in no order of merit!
coldplay, dream theatre, muse, linkin park (i chose my childhood rock band well), paramore, anberlin, abitof U2, incubus, maksim, circa survive.
i know i have more to add to the list, but havent really sifted out yet because music is such a diverse thing these days, post rock/post hardcore/ alternative metal/ progressive metal/ alternative rock/pop/ hardrock is totally mixed these days. generally stuff that sounds technically difficult, awesome with creative elements, ambient/weird, heavy but musical.
