Monday, December 25, 2006
christmas+ holiday review+ e super accurate survey thing from nat
hello! so this is my last post of the year i suppose! hahaha... well, christmas has been great, with lotsa meaning and lotsa love.. i felt it this year haha... u never know how much joy carolling can bring..u know mi carolling group is small, with a small number of us stuffed into a small bus. but yet there was so much fun, singing and impromptu-partying... i felt so happy, and i wondered if it was e real meaning of experiencing christmas... feeling loved, and to love... and i'm not kiddin. keith is here talking about love...
what on earth is love la. its not totally giving, not totally receiving. not loving someone more then someone else...
|[[its about, YOU, WANTING, to do your BEST for someone.]]|
u got e main point? hahaha.. it means lets say u see an outcast. and just cause u want to love him, u make the effort to reach out of ur comfort zone just to talk to him. to know him more? cause after all, didnt jesus do just that?
u know last time, i thought being mr nice guy was good, now i think, being nice totally pays off... i'm not doing it to get loved, not to get any self shit, but i truly feel good just showing someone that i care, u know. sincerely...
christmas has so much meaning... even if it means i cant get a handphone, or i have to part with my watch for 1 month cause the repairing takes THAT LONG... boohoo.
love. i love love.
in a different aspect.
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holidays ah.. ahha. this has been the best so far. i dun need some working experience man. i learned stuff like people skills. stuff like love. stuff like being nice? perhaps its been valuable... yes. veryvery good this year, i feel totally ready to move on...
guys i'm sorry. sorry for being an ass. i know i was, and some of u still think i am. but i'm determined to follow christ, if u accept him, pls accept my apology...
feel free to correct me in any way you want, if i have misunderstood you or anything, i'm willing to think about it more in-depth. u can confront me straight, i'll accept it too...
sorry for the shit i've done, if i have in your eyes... yep!
so, i have learned to say sorry too. even if i think i'm perfect, i know i'm not. even if i think i wasnt in the wrong, i'm willing to say sorry... it helps SO MUCH. it saves a friend... taaaaaahh very complicated.
i have also learned to go the extra mile, for a friend u love... as in.. all the way. ah but i have no examples currently, i'll prefer keeping it to myself... can ask me if ur interested hahaha...
i feel, just talking helps so much... u know i talked to mence recently, and realised instead of helping him, he helped me too... hahaha.. so just go! dial that number, double click tt msn name, and talk. haha.
blogging about parties are meaningless, cause those are memories. but oh well, its friendships we build tt matters... gosh i'm gonna miss janice's and lois' cousins (or nephews and nieces?) its like we became so close in just 1 week. and now they gtg back to malaysia.. boo hoo.
ah, a great holiday. with good enriching camps. made me get more exposed... i love it. i love this kinda adventurous stufffss.. v interesting.
so, this is what i've accomplished and went through in e hols:
1.nco camp
2.church camp
3.2nd church camp, refer to e previous post.
4.carolling
5.improved my guit skills
6.did 1 blogskin.
7.did a lil homework? is this even counted -.-
8.helped out a lil here and there...
9.got super active in church, yeah a lil tiring.
ah i dunno what else. really a lot..
perfect holiday planned by God himself. wooo
alright, so sec3 is really a time to learn. i wonder 1 more year from now what kinda stuffs will i be blogging... hehehe.
mence, i just wanna say... even if u lose it all, I"M HERE TO GIVE U UR ASSPOKE ALWAYS, ALWAYS.
alrightXD
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ok now this is the survey i saw on nat's blog, and damn its accurate. but somehow i feel cheated. wadever.
| You Are a Prophet Soul |
 You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone. Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people. Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run. No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way. You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle. Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings. A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning. You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul |
sounds like me? ahh wdv. stupid crap.
coldplaying.keith.
Posted by keithc at 6:28 AM
Friday, December 15, 2006
a camp, with a whole lot of gang members?
okay, so i just returned from my last church camp. this, i will blog about cause its the most interesting church camp EVER. not really fun, but i learned so much more then ever, and i put to practice my confidence, my relationship handling and skills as such... i really think i benefitted a whole lot more:Dok, lets first get to WHAT kinda camp it is. its actually, a camp for these 2 groups of people that this family centre is handling.. this centre is called lakeside family centre. its the social thingy place that my church sponsers.. they handle gangs, teens who are a lil confused, maybe led a lil astray here and there. so this camp was PART OF THEIR PROGRAMME. and my youth leader got us in without telling us properly...
as a result, there were about 30-40 people, and 4 of us, (lois, janice, ariel, and i.) ariels a guy btw. and we are e onli 4 people amongst the 26-36 gangsters/ crime offenders, i dunno.. (hey if any of u are reading, i really dont mean to be disrespectful k? hope u all understand....)
day1. super enthu.. i was! but when i entered the meeting place, i was greeted by fierce looks. by angsted teens.. stuff like that. they communicated via chinese/hokkien. and every sentence had a "cb knn kns" and even more explicit vulgarities behind it... my guy and girl friends were really disturbed.. and so was i. but well we kept quiet. we didnt know what to expect, cause we thought they were just non-christians, but we didnt know it was so extreme, so into their world..
in the bus to CDANS camping spot, was the first test. the more explicit guys were whistling and hooting at janice and lois... cause they hot mah. and then they started saying horrible stuff.. very explicit. very disturbing.. dunno if u guys know, can ask me if u want.. i'll be able to share it in hokkien or chinese...
to ariel and i, we were pissed. cause we are guys, who know these 2 girls, and if some outsider come harass them why wont we be pissed... i was super pissed too, but we kept quiet. we did our best to.. but the harm was done la.. i mean. the girls were really scared and stuff..
we did the usual stuff in camps.. icebreakers, games, and yeah in between someone will hurl out vulgarities and raise his voice. or make some explicit remark.. it made me pissed dude.
til dinner, lois and jan came up to ariel and i and they said they couldnt stay for the night.. cause the guys (mainly 3 of them) were seemingly dangerous.. and they felt insecure.. me too felt that way, cause we are the 4 GUAI KIAS amongst them. they arent the fake ones we see at ff u know! they are hardcore smokers, wreckers and stuff.. and we tasted the real other world for once, it was really uneasy..
so, it seemed too dangerous, too horrible, so ariel got pissed and walked off half way, and the girls disappeared. then the youth helper Corrine asked me
***
"so are you staying?"
"yeah, i will. no matter what."
"why? u want to talk to ariel?"
"yeah i will.. but still.. they are disturbed la.."
"but you know, these guys arent really bad..."
"yeah i know... but i will still stay"
actually, these guys ARE bad. but i never saw it that way, partially cause CALEB WONG shared that special info with me, i kept it up in my head. thanks a lot caleb.. plus i know, humans arent evil. its the sinful nature and the works of the devil that lead people astray... i guess thats why corrine said "but u know these guys arent really bad" hence, i understood... i gave it a shot and a chance, cause i really wanna know how these guys are, what they are like. as much as i wanted to know, i wanted to try to help...
***
remember the anti-NT days? i was like that once right? i hated all of them. maybe, the others felt like that, that was why they wanted to leave camp? i mean- it was dangerous... but something was holding me back from leaving the camp la...
at night, when i thought that alan (a youthleader) came to pick up ariel jan and lois already, we had this thing called "COUNCIL TALK". it was for the whole group to sit and talk about their day, and get serious. sounds familiar? but of course we were in groups... 3 seperate groups.. and it happens that the more explicit guys were in my group... yeah. so guess wad.
i told them about what we church ppl felt. imagine this... you are THE ONLY ONE amongst dangerous people. you are THE ONLY ONE there and they may whack u up anytime! and there you are telling them that ur pissed cause they made fun of your friend. some church camp eh? so i confronted them again.. and i told them everything... of course some parts needa speak in chinese cause they didnt understand, but after hearing it... they were really very sorry!
this happened. the guy that was the roughest and the horniest was the first to say (in chinese)
"then where are they now?"
"they went home already.. they are scared of you all"- me
"huh... they really left?" -in an apologic tone
"yeah... that's why i'm telling you now what..."- me.
"you see la! all your fault. tell you all dun play bang dun disturb u still do"- another gangster guy.
"i dunno mah! we onli playing only"- the same guy.
he told me very sincerely that he was only playing, and he didnt mean anything.. and he asked me to say sorry on their behalf now that they are gone. and to ariel as well, cause they thought we were gangsters too, they didnt know we are the GUAI KIAS. i was super touched at that moment la.. and all of them remained quiet. they nvr retaliated me, never scolded or anything... and they wanted to say sorry to ariel and janice and lois personally la.. so i tried looking for them after the camp...
and ariel was sitting somewhere talking to an adult helper where i and the guys went to find him... the guys really tried their best to express their apologies la i think.. i know it was hard. but ariel also told them that its because of our 2 cultures that don't mix, and its hard to live together like that... in the end, they sorted it with ariel, and ariel decided to stay for the camp..
same went for janice and lois.. cause they appeared suddenly, and i didnt know.
so they said sorry too, and well dun get emo no space already, i suppose u all know.. and guess what! it just took a bit of guts for me, for 3 of my friends not to go home unhappily... so this made me realise when the time is right, rise to the occasion and assume responsibility, cause the camp's fun is in your hands! right?
everything went well, but that wasnt all man. sleep time was special too... ok theres this so-assumed gangleader guy.. he's damn cool la. cap plus dyed hair plus nice earring plus quite good looking.. i dunno. there are good looking gangsters? but well he's able to talk to me a bit more after the sharing... and he took the guitar UP to the dorm! and he was playing a bit.. he wasn exactly good la, but after while i played, and they were interested in what i do in church, so i shared with them. (my heart was leaping with joy at that time, cause i'm fufilling one of god's greatest commandment... which was to love everyone...)
and they said they were all christians!? that they go to church, so they asked me if i could play certain songs.
and GUESS WAD. ALL THOSE SONGS THEY "REQUESTED" WERE ALL THE SONGS I PLAYED BEFORE LAST TIME!! so i could play them perfectly.. and it was a VERY, SACRED, time of sharing and singing worship songs upstairs in the small dorm, with lights off. and i think god meant something, cause the songs all went smoothly. i could like remember the chords quite easily. walao i was so happy! and i thought "so, THIS IS WHY I"M HERE FOR!!! I CAN DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL FOR THESE GUYS, WHICH I FORMALLY THOUGHT WAS IMPOSSIBLE!"
god put the opportunity there for me. the guitar. them being christians... and we sang together. for e first time in my life, i never felt like that..
and then lame jokes, and more vulgarities that they said and i kept quiet.. and we slept... with me snoring and wadever la.
next day was back to e same thing.. EXCEPT the previous night they promised not to mkae explicit jokes, so they really carried it out. they said sorry to me whenever they unconciously said CB after every line, but i told them its okay, cause its hard to change, and so long as we're not like disturbed.. cause i'm not so sensitive to vulgarities la.. onli those sex terms.
the camp went really well with high elements and stuff... and i was so happy... because of that 1 step of faith.. its like rock climbing. u dun always grab and pull, sometimes u gotta risk it and jump to grab your rock. but u dun anyhow jump.. u study the rock, and make sure its EASY, GOOD to grab. and with faith, u jump... hope u guys understand la...
talking to these guys, being what is it like being in a gang, how to fight, or guitaring, i feel i've gotten to learn much more about the world, about how REAL the world is outside FF. in some normal neighbourhood sch... they clicked rather well la, but the truth remains: i'm from the opposite end of the world compared with them la..
the bus took us back to lakeside family centre, and then to our church for a concert, a small concert for these guys. however, they werent keen sadly... so they left the bus la. seeing them taking out their cigarettes and lighters waiting for the door to open... wah. i found the gap between me and them really far. they are DESPO to SMOKE. ALL OF THEM. EVEN GIRLS. once they were ALL out, EVERYONE WAS SMOKING... so i was convinced, it was tough. not 1 single person can change these guys.. we nidda pray and we need God. but there was this small thing, small action i noticed... the gangleader guy said bye to me.. and he waved. it showed somehow, i have gained their respect? did he treat me as something more then a GUAI KIA? perhaps a "trying friend?" i hope so... and i hope slowly, these potential-packed guys will change, and will kick these habits, before their lives are ruined...
okay, sorry if i offended u in this post, its exactly as what my mind thinks... real cool isnt it? my best camp this year..
rar getting REAL busy in church.. thanksgiving also cannot go.. wth.cb.knn.bbq. ok something i picked up la, but dun worry joking onli. haha.
lesson learned, and its a real big one: never judge a book by its cover, cause we are all borned same and equal. its the choices we make and the environment.. dun hate these kinda ppl.. they deserve as much chance as we do:P
hope u guys somehow feel inspired as much as i did... cya!
coldplaying.keith.
