Friday, May 30, 2008
Reasons why a keith shouldnt bodybuild.i was totally in some state of stupidness after i quit my bodybuilding mindset. after 2 days of it.
yes, thats right, 2 days. when holidays started i told myself yes i'm gonna take this time to exercise, go gym, keep fit, work out, build muscles, and hopefully do my pull ups to pass napfa after june.
so on monday, mark and i went to pine grove to swim our brains out... then used the gym for a while.
next day muscles ached, whoa shiok.... felt good.
til i realised what bodybuilding is really like.. it means no freedom of food, no late nights, hours spend at the gym every week. to max it out, you gotta spend money on protein powder for best results. its not that i dont have the discipline to do it, its the hols man!... i am capable of it.. but why do we want great bodies... hms. because of this, i quit..
i guess the answer is because we are always constantly wanting to improve our physical self...
if you look at it from another point of view, u cant even eat chicken rice. you cant stay 2 hours longer online to talk to a dear late night friend. you are basically wasting time at the gym, cause nothing gets in your head.
ok some might argue gymming in the long run does make you.. well. more determined, focused. built a perseverant character, because when you have the mind to push your body to its max, usually you can do it for whatever situations or rubbish you're in... be it problems faced in sch, homework, etc. somehow, bodybuilders to me seem different.
having a nicer body also builds up confidence... but why does it build up confidence? i also dunno.
when i feel toned, i just feel stronger, like i'm a cooler guy. there's no basis at all for a feeling like that... not that i will be able to get more girls?? not that i want any girl at this point of my life!? not that i'll be able to look better than the guy next door, whatever for? hey dude. you're skinny and i'm buff.. haha i feel good. ahhahaha. NOT.
evaluate the confidence you gain from being physically complete. is it true confidence? its the same kind of confidence ppl gain by cutting a 2nd eyelid, getting a bust enhancement. its all momentary, and sooner or later people will still see you for who you truly are. and you know, you know you're still the same as ever inside.
its a very selfish thing, in that your body being huge and sexy doesnt really affect other people's mindsets, only yours. perhaps it makes them jealous. but jealous over what?
ok, NS is a great reason... but still. i just need to keep fit, dont i? do i really need to be buff?
lets just say what got me started off is nothing more than peer pressure and the need to do my pull ups. because i really am not aiming for girls. perhaps i will do it again next year in preps for NS, but that will be next year's affairs.
this is me consolidating my thoughts:
there are needs everywhere.. people who need ministering to. homework that needs to be done. exams to be studied for. as well as all the church stuff put together, which includes daily quiet time, praying for the church. putting others before yourself... time is a factor.
furthermore, my confidence comes from the Lord, in whom i trust and believe will provide for me. he will scrape me through NS, napfa. And in his time, maybe even provide my soulmate.
i gotta learn to rely less on myself, cause no human effort can attain what God hasnt placed in His will..
oh well, ministry!!!! :)
hehe i hope this gets some of my friends thinking, especially those who are guilty of not being content with their own bodies! rmb you were fearfully and wonderfully made.. no matter how horrible you think you look, there will be a bunch who will still think highly of you. its not all about the looks, more of who you truly are inside; what you say, do, do not say, do not do, all reflect your personality.
knowing all these really does bring comfort to me.
okay, after this post, there will definitely be a small bunch of people who will go, hahah what a loser mindset.. weakling.
look at yourself, everyone is weak in some areas of their lives..
you cant have everyone loving you everytime, right?
Posted by keithc at 11:13 AM
Sunday, May 25, 2008
okayy its sunday and i'm tired but accomplished:)somehow, there's a disturbance within me for the whole of today... a slight one that feels like a huge burden, well i suppose it was due to just the sermon, or the church... ytd at the hillsong concert. but other than that, everything's fantastic...
its so nice for the youth to want to attend the concert! 28 of us altogether and i'm so happy... never regretted helping them get ticss. the worship was awesome... so good that i was really tired.. but at my most tiredd point, the worship leader said "we're just getting started".. nice man.
some really disturbing things to me...
1. come buy t shirts and cds!
2. sermon
3. "you guys want more?" YESHHHH
"lets sing some hymms!" yay.... yay...
i mean that is why you dont just go scream for more when the dude asks you. cause the worship was great and more than enough for me and i'm sure God was pleased... we shouldnt say we want more worship when we just want more music.
but lets face it, when its a concert, people just want to jump and have fun... so actually, the dude shouldnt have posed such a worship-oriented question to everyone... kinda takes ppl on a short guilt trip.
besides the fact that they were commerciallising like mad, (despite alr collecting 5 bucks per ticket, yes) the sermon was disturbing to me... yes to me. i wont put it on the blog for now, it deserves a proper one on its own.
following which i sent the guys off before hillsong played Solution, and then went back to get eagles conference fliers from ronda.. dball and janan were there too.. took pics, saw dionne's cute brother who actually looks quite old and mature already... hahaha. the pics do him injustice. or the presence of dionne just kiddifies him hahhaa...
of course, wanlin and jing wen...
then met delci, i cant believe she actually planned to go back alone, thats like huh! so late and so far away!
but we discussed about the sermon.. i suppose it rly did affect many of us in a way... and also how our hols are gonna be. well its much better for me than for her anyway.. perhaps with the time given to study for mids...
but all in all i'm so sure the youth got to worship well! Even today when we were playing i felt the holy spirit move... and even i could worship while playing and to be honest, i only played 2 wrong notes today... which is a great improvement:) AND my tone rocked... wish dil could have played though... but chinese comes first of course, studies is equally important to God.
i dont know, but i just feel its a bit hard to invite ppl to Agape, esp if they dont stay within the west boundary. ok fine, its just tough getting people to church in general, but its still great cutter got to go to trinity today, ptl. i was a bit discouraged at night, but then that is where the whole idea of serving in worship kicked it. we serve for God, not for man. we do it for Him alone, no one else. Its not about showmanship, its not about standing upfront on stage. its just getting the worship and God's message across. immediately the feeling just left... whatever burdens, whatever feelings of being pangsehed. nothing else mattered more than Him.
in trackers i learned a term, its called "centre".
its means to place jesus at the centre of your life, where all focus is on him alone.
sometimes we serve for OTHER YOUTH's BENEFIT, sometimes we serve cause THERES NO ONE ELSE, sometimes we serve cause WE'RE POTENTIAL PROS, AND WE"RE SPOTTED, sometimes cause WE LOVE PLAYING GUITAR/DRUMS/SINGING. but no, those are only reasons to start you off in ministry. when ur in, "CENTRE-ing" is what we are called to do. there can only be one reason why we serve, and its because we love jesus. there can only be one way we get the strength to do so, that it is to run on his spirit, if not we're sure to fall. i've been through ups and downs in the worship ministry, and well,
"how to get a steady source of sustainance" is what i'm exploring now, and yeah, i'm giving myself time to learn too. QT isnt easy to do everyday, plus the devil does attack at times. but we know God works for the good of those who love him:) thank God for a great service today.
kinda looking forward to the church camp... family-fied theme. ppl of all ages doing same activities... who knows if something would happen in my family? today we chose group names... and i suggested "love" out of the list. reason's pretty simple...
somehow doubts on how usual family overseas trips always turn out are getting into my head, definitely calls for more prayer. i believe its gonna be a new and exiting experience:)
basketball in the afternoon was fun too.. i'm just getting too larthagic to move much haha. but before i even broke the unfit barrier, it rained.. oh well.
enjoy ur holidays folks! while i get rdy to go to bed and wake up for chinese remedial tmr -.- btw, dillon's having chinese A levels tmr... cant imagine whats going through his head now... probably nothing cause he's asleep. all the best bro!
Posted by keithc at 10:19 AM
Friday, May 23, 2008
okayy its time for some picturess... i dug this out from somewhere... some of them are really hilarious!!
i think this is one of the last cool shots we took as the comm..
hehehe, youth camp 07. WE ARE THE WINNING TEAM.
sorry, i had to post this!! our legs were half in the sand:)
bio project... we baked our cake/bread...
and got super enthu about it so we posed with it. I KNOW DAME LAME WHEN I SAW IT I WAS LAUGHING LIKE MADD. LOOK AT HOW SKINNY I WAS.
heh? no fungi?
T11 picss...
me acting boss.. cause bonnie's shades called for it..
me and cutter going high on blackforest ice cream.. we finished a whole tub... after tt we really got high.
solopoh and the guys..
this was when we went back to fairfield for some.. saturday thing..
joel acting macho. actually this picture is hilarious!
me natty and annabel. she's still in school hahahaha..
another pic of annabel and i. i want long hair..
ice cream war... first i stuffed it in rophis face.
then delci didnt want it anymore.
then i tried getting nicol to eat also.
"COME CHERYL HAVE A BITEE ITS ONLY AN ICE CREAM."
"noooo pleasee donttttt.............. rophii ate from itttt AHHHHHHHHHH"
hahah cheryl has this super cute face.
BB guys!! new or old or VERY OLD. woops derrick sorry.
i think samuel ate the ice cream :)
4F and 4E... we totally rock.. wish i could leave my hair like i used to.
Jessica and my sister.. koolest girls in gb. not.
Posted by keithc at 11:34 AM
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
nowadays i'm rly talking lesser. even i'm starting to neglect my emo feelings and all, i dun seem to be able to blog lotsa thoughts already.anw, why is it that God doesnt reveal himself to everyone? indeed, you choose to be chosen. but placing me in a christian family is really something i should be greatly thankful about. and then i still struggle, i still ask for so much, i still sin.
i'm already in a much better position than many people in the world...having a faith in Him who is higher than all created things. having experienced his love and mercy first hand. knowing this God is real, and i wont be stumbled by what people say... and yet i still feel so human. what has happened to my calling? could it be that when i'm in it i feel like its getting routinal, and i'm just living day to day, only waking up on sundays.
perhaps not, perhaps its just today that feels this way.
it seems like a sense of hopelessness that has brought about this heck-care attitude of mine. the relac one korner attitude.. theres no urgency and no rush...
and i'm afraid i'm about to be broken real badly very soon... if its in His will..
bonnie is right, if u cant reveal everything in your blog, then it totally defeats the purpose of having a blog. then again, why do i need a blog to cast my cares and burdens out? another human factor.
my head screams its time to mug... but my soul screams no.. i got stuff to settle with my friend. his name starts with j.
Posted by keithc at 10:28 PM
Monday, May 19, 2008
w0wowo0o0o0o....i'm kinda wowo by the click five song happy birthday. mark and soloman kept singing it but i was onli reminded of it today after celebrating enping's!
today the jamming thing went not bad.. though it could have been tons better with caleb and nat.. they were absent. and i felt like super wannabe cause i was wearing my jeans and the tight fit shirt the guys bought for me on my bday.. and all 5 of us had to pay 11bucks for the 3 hours... ex sioll.
and my pedalboard weighs a ton.
after thinking for a while. i'm beginning to wonder if i'm rly a guitarist or not... caleb was telling me about his band, and his guitarist being real good and stuff. and i'm wondering why havent i picked up faster solos and stuff. honestly, u ask me to practice sweeping scales, i really dont have the patience and passion to do... if i dont like that aspect of guitar, i think i'm not rly that cut out... oh well.
so i think this is an area i have to slowly move away from. myself, as the guitarist... after all i'm playing lesser and lesser in other places (home especially) and more and more in church.
the more i look at it, the lesser i am a guitarist, more of a worshipper...
but i still wanna do fast solos.. hm.
oh ya and did i mention about my guitar strike? i went on one last week.. focused more on the word. i must say, before ministry comes our relationship with God.. something i really learned over the past few weeks... details can ask me:)
its been pretty long since i last blogged, perhaps lack of time or stuff. but rly, my life has been less happening. which may be a good thing cause there's really less stress on my mind now. just mug, pray, mug. having some time off is good too... like GOING FOR NIGHT STUDY ALONE.
so scary la, all the j2s. thank God val was there, hahaha... it... made me feel less lonely. not to mention her parents sent me home too... so nice of them.
i'm so messed up.. tmrs gonna be a tough day with pe, all the subs. and lit essay i still owe... hm dionne keeps saying chill chill. she saw someone on the mrt today. far from chill man...
anyway, i was the onli dude who didnt wish enping happy birthday on his actual date, 16th. and delci's asleep now on her birthday, cause shes totally dead beat. this is dedicated to the both of them!
its HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Hey you
I know I'm in the wrong
Time flies (yes we're 17)
When you're having fun (in poly/ac)
You wake up
Another year is gone
You're sixteen.
I guess you wanna know
Why I'm still online
It's been a day or so
I know it's kind of late (YES ITS 120AM)
But Happy Birthday
Yeah yeah whoa
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa
Well I miss you, too (haha u know right enping)
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late (ITS 121AM)
But Happy Birthday
So hard
When you're far away (no la its me cause cj is far)
It's lame but I forgot the date (well.. time flies right)
I won't make the same mistake
I'm so to blame
So now you know
Don't stop viewing my blog
I wish I was at home (i am btw)
I know it's way too late (ITS 123AM)
But Happy Birthday
It's not that I don't care
You know I'll make it up to you (YA LIKE WISHING U ON TIME NEXT YEAR HAHA)
If I could, I'd be there
if i could, i'd be there.
Posted by keithc at 10:01 AM
Sunday, May 11, 2008
3 hours. 3 hours MORE a day is all i need...if one day had 27 hours. i rly think i can fit everything in nicely.
i mean, i am already fitting everything in nicely, but its obvious that sleep is compromised...
to sum it all up, what happened this week, what caused the frustrations and emo spurts. what caused headaches, fatigue and all. a good rest is all that is needed.
so now, its time to mug..
was feeling regretful about not going to gdop, but then i realised i dont have to honour God by going there to pray. i just have to study hard for chem tmr:)
all the best t11 chem dudes..
time for more BONDING.
Posted by keithc at 5:11 AM
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
i'm eating what seems to me as the nicest cheesecake in the world..ok its just a coffee bean one... seems to be, right...
this week has been filled with sweets. ice cream, cake, etc. all making me fat.
i looked back at just sec4 pics, whoaa huge difference man, how did i gain all these wait. its only a mere 4kg difference...
ok physicals aside, tertiary life certainly is different... you start to think if raging hormones just came in, as if its puberty stage 2.
and then again, it calls for discipline stage 2. and a greater height of spiritual maturity.
seriously, i'm not some holy dude. i'm living my life.. and i'm sorry if i've offended anyone who chances upon this blog who wishes to know more about keith.. blogs arent good gauges..
i'm just starting to think how i'd be like if i were in poly.. most prob less fat, better built. tight fitting tees and skinny jeans. leaving my guitar in class and stuff... jamming every week. i had this all planned last year sheesh. but it seems now i'm in a cleaner's uniform gaining weight...
still, does the look and appearance really matter? is that all that matters?
no one defines me but God, imma be myself:)
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Posted by keithc at 8:51 AM
Sunday, May 04, 2008
sunday afternoon and i finally have the free time of blogging! in fact i've been wanting to do this since friday because this week has indeed been a great week, with labour day holiday and sports day on friday!it suddenly dawned on me during cell that my cell group had been praying for more rest for me this week cause i totally burned out last week, being even busier on my weekends than weekdays..and then comes labour day and sports day, PTL.
btw, with relevance to my previous post.. i have to say i was talking about myself...
monday night i had dinner with gramps, and i find i'm starting to love and treat them better these days, it may be because the nun my PW group spoke to left something in me, to cherish and treat the older relatives of mine with more love and respect... what she said just strucked me so hard, i realised how much i've neglected my grandparents... how much they have done for me, though usually grandparents dont do much for their grandchildren. so yep, dinner was great.
tuesday night i met with the intaj boys, shawn, jared and eugene.. great time of sharing at city hall.. (before that i had 2 free ben and jerry's ice cream of course, haha ronda and dionne!) nice to see all of you moving on so strongly, and that what we learned in trackers still remains in our heads.. everything was nice except the food hahah.
wednesday night was the REAL intaj meeting, at wendy's place with pastor kaiming and the girls... the best part was when we all shared about our recent praise reports and what we're struggling with... super enriching to hear everyone share, it took about 1.5 hours! and then pizza... Ben came late and we were all laughing at him... as quoted:
"the girls in my school... err arent very very intelligent... but i find that i can fit in well la" (serious tone)
thats uber funny la! haha ben is super funny... but thanks for coming all the way down, though u live so far away, and went to wendy's mum's place instead LOL... ben is so funnyy.
ok, labour day! wake up late! had a good rest. was suppose to play soccer with wenjie, but so many guys couldnt go... including nat.. oh well..
lunch with corrine and our band was the best... the food was great, the atmosphere was great, and its just so fun to sit for 3 hours doing nothing but eating and playing some irritating repetitous game! hahaa pig pile! and at the last part i won!! cause lois fed me with the card hahaha.... should have seen the look on janice's face!
after that, i went home to dress act cool for the night's play.. shakespeare on love. met up with T11 guys at the mrt station, and cutter was looking super beng la hahahah... and his pants makes ppl wanna rip it off. soloman liked my heart pinkk tie so i lent it to him, and i wore my red one instead hahah... steph wore some really girly long dress, and she looked anything but buff, so those ppl (like me) actually ate our words on that day hahaha... kaiwei looked like a primary school teacher too, like buffy...
christabel looked like a zebra, black and white everywhere but still really nice, and belle looked too mature for how she rly is.. ahahah ~ehh~ sorryy...
guys, nothing much la cause all of us wore black shirt, jeans. except yunsong!! wear white!
the play was good, new exposure and i could appreciate it alr even on my first one. i am right la, lit is a subject for me. Othello was the most impressive... when the black dude acted i could almost feel like i was othello, blinded by iago's deceptions so much that he didnt even bother to find out the real truth..
it brought to my mind the verse which says the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy... how true and apt for the story of othello and iago!
the actors were funny.. and the female actors were pretty, overall, it was super worth it! 8.60 for a shakespeare play, once in a few years leh! more worth than ironman!
the class went to drink after that, but i dont rly know if they really did that la.. sherrie mark bel and i walked with them to the pub/bar/wadever, stayed a while before rushing off to catch the last train... thank God we all made it home lol, if not, $$$$$$$$$ zzz. cab la.
and the next day we actually ran for sports day though everyone slept like 1+ 2... funnyyy...
basketball was great, soo fun though we got trashed every round cause j2s were playing with us! so bad right! think we disappointed elissa, she's a basketball player so i suppose expectations and pride are different... whereas i'm just, JUST, a basketball player. rly horrible.. my shots are my best asset and now i couldnt even score one... all bouncing off the rims. but well at least i scored a few... elissa scored everything else hahaha...
after lunch together with the j2 class, made a new friend called deborah who's also into worship in her church... i went back to fairfield to see things!! UNFORTUNATELY, parade for BB has ended, and i only saw a few boys training to be drill instructors...
however i got to see the gb girls in action, my sister and jessica leading girls everywhere.. whoa never see before lor! suddenly, i felt like my sister is not young or stupid anymore.. she knows what she's doing and she does it well... even better than me. respect la.. i suppose we should really not look down on younger youth... they may be so much better than us in ways but because we're older, we feel we've been through more, therefore we always look at them as "younger youth, inexperienced".
after which, dinner with enping and daniel... nice of them to put up with me by eating at DOVER, hahaha...
and then i met with delci.. caught up and stuff, nicee...
its even more encouraging that after helping out in gb, she still has to rush off to worship prac... this is how life should be man!! but i give thanks i could rest this weekend... 1st sundays are break sundays:)
saturday was tiring, but nonetheless rewarding... i decided to help my church youths get tickets to hillsong live... rounded up about 30 youths... had youth comm meeting which was kinda productive this week, and then adelle, alvin and joel accompanied me to get the ticks...
i'm so thankful to them for being with me, because if not i would have waited about 3 hours alone!! but once i got the tickets my heart was like WOOO YESHHHH....
cant wait for it, and for the youth to rly experience live worship, it'll be a fantastic experience...
overall, this week has been fantastic... perhaps the free ice cream made it so, but i am finally, seriously, getting fat.. no exercise, no nothing... just eat and eat everyday, night, late night.. urghh...
dionne this time i'm serious, hahaha ur slimmer than me.
to joel, thanks for sticking with me for almost the whole of saturday... though i think its cause u needed to be with me la.. (~ehh Sorry......)
just miss all the trackers peeps... even christabel for some reason!!
:)
