Wednesday, February 28, 2007
yay!! updating... (losers for God, winners eventually.)
OKAYYYYY SO SO SORRY FOR THE LONG AWAITED POST HAHAHAHA
doubt i'll be blogging again ahhahah so i shall write what i learned here...
how many of you guys reading this post feel you're a loser and you suck and u stink and u just wanna give up and let go of everything?? i don't think many. i think i only know a few. but if deep inside, you feel sad, over family stuff, spiritual stuff or wadever... yeah i'll write a post to encourage u..
actually i dunno why i'm doing this, cause i myself is quite depressed currently... so i can empathise with you...
unless of course, i'm the one and only loser around.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
no i shall stop ranting. my blog is not a rant site.
rent site.
lol
wanna thank my friends who have been around me, yan,dels,lois, my youth leaders... my officers, supporting me and stuff. yeah... thats about all the ppl who encourage me. cause who gives a dam about a person who looks like he doesn give a dam everyday?
i know everyday i see myself in school being rather quiet... so unlike who i was last time, or when i'm truely happy..
quiet, inactive, and just.. cant click well with people... so.. no life already..
its becoming an everyday habit... and even i feel it myself... i cant go hyper or even force a smile naturally anymore...
HOW COME.
its cause i'm tired.
HOW COME.
cause i dont have enough sleep
HOW COME.
cause theres too much work, no time for me to squeeze in fun and sleep...
HOW COME OTHERS CAN DO IT BUT U CANT?
CAUSE I"M SLOW, I"M SLOW DAMMIT.
so.. i slowly learned to realise i gotta take things in my stride, i cant chiong things like other people... i cant do an A math question that was taught by miss lee just 5mins ago. i cant study for tingxies in 5min.
i cant play soccer so well,
i cant grab guitar skills so fast...
i do homework approximately double the pace of other people.
BUT.. whether you think i'm a loser or a trying loser is up to you..
a fellow loser told me lotsa stuff... he is JUST like me. tall dark and handsome. (XD) and he once held a high leadership position. people hate him, people love him. but he also wasnt very popular...
but i respected him... cause he showed the love and care to others... he put others before him, and he kept quiet when others zham him...
i mean how many real men out there can take crap like that...
and academically, he wasnt much better then me..
and i know he doesn mind, thats why i'm blogging.
i feel this respect for ppl as "insignificant" as him, cause he helped me a lot in realising i'm special, just like anyone else :D
---------------------
recently, we got screwed by officers... and i just found out, how our roles as COS just kickstarted in a whole new aspect.. i shall enforce discipline. i shall make sure stuff go right... and i know things will go right if i enforce it, but how come i just didnt make it happen?
its not like the guys wont listen... its just that we are slacking. let e COS body unite... and the company will follow...
this coming parade i'll show you. show all of you. in ur face. like THIS. THISTHISTHIS. RAR.
THATSFORMYBUDDYWHOMYOUMADESHEDTEARS.THATSFORTAKINGAWAYCOPORATEPUNISHMENT.THATSFORGOD.THATSFORME.THATSFORUS.
ah.. emotions running.. i just felt so useless...
now, i'm sick. homework laden. tired... its 7.40, and i'm suppose to do my zuo wen... which was due today... i cant keep up honestly with church thats running so often.. and other things.. but i know i want this parade to be good...
------------------------
juz wana say, there are losers out there...those really misintepreted, those really sad ppl who try and try but nothing seems to work out. those ppl who arent in the popular gang, just cause they dont have the energy to. those people who yearn to sleep early every night, but cant cause they take so friggin long to finish up their work...
their lives are messed up...
but they are still for God.
everything seems to be wrong..
but they are still for God.
even after they thought everything blew over, they are screwed once again.
but they are still for God.
and i pray my faith will be sustained. i pray he'll give me strength to pull through this tough time, and just push myself to my limits.
i'm sorry if i cant be with all of you... and in turn our relationship has been affected.
i'm sorry if i left a wrong impression in front of you...
i'm sorry if i look or sound like a nerd, (or a trying one)
but i'm just a loser. i'm basically, a nerd who doesn do well for tests.
but a nerd for God always wins. i live by that, i believe so long as our hearts are right, and we bother to take the steps, we'll find the fruits of our labour...
thanks for ur letters... everytime i read the verses, i get spured on again. never fails to keep me alert and right.
ok ending off alr.. my mind cant really concentrate...
also tell my class boys of 4F, that i really really like you guys. and i wanna keep playing soccer and i wanna keep and build fantastic friendships... and i wanna share my deepest secrets with u all, but for the sole reason of all those listed above, i can't.. hence i'm real sorry... i'm not sure if there'll be a slot left for me after O'levels...
also to e ppl who have been tagging and getting PISSED OFF with me for not updating, lol sorry. screw u. tee.
and for LOIS, HI!
okie,
signing off,
coldplaying.keith.
theres just this clear gap.
Posted by keithc at 3:23 AM
