Saturday, November 25, 2006

thinking of you... who?

actually, i've been thinking of a few people! haha.. hols are making me think. and these thoughts are productive...

recently talked to calebwong... he made me realise stuff i never thought of before.. plus, i've started quiet time again... its been 4 times in a row every night so far.. broke one yesterday cause i went to my aunt's house for the night.. oh well, can continue later.
anw caleb, juz wanna say... ur really like a very good mentor... last time was different from now. and yeah.. its true we're all assholes... rarr so emo, but well u get my message...

btw, in regard to my post, caleb isn one of the people i was thinking of... the names will not be revealed, sorry!!

ahh, first its you. always there for me. always discussing about bb stuff, dota stuff, soccer stuff... lunch... dinner.. wadever... recently u appeared dead.. are holidays killing you? always online nvr talk... aiya. i tell others ur real close to me.. super true friend... and yet deep inside me there are doubts. are u really always there? or just another one that will disappear after next year? i definetly hope no right?? rarr. doubts. i hate them... they make me think too much, make me more negative then positive...

next its you. its been 4 months since... wonder how are you doing?? before i left, u were always on my mind? every detail of you i can picture. every memory i can still remember. and well, that sms as well... i cant believe how dumb i was... but well, its all over.. i'm washing my hands of it, and i'm doing it so cleanly and without regrets, i wonder if u ever thought of it as something that impacted you? up to now, at times i think of you. i wonder and ponder on how much u've changed, as well as me. i picture myself with you, and then i go "nonono, its all wrong." seems like my thinking now is WAYYYY OFFF from just a few months ago?? how long now. (U2 rox) i do miss the times i can still talk and sms, but now, its as if nothing happened. i'm so involved in my stuff, and so are you...
ur blogs are empty..
ur never contactable nowadays anw...
give me more time, u'll be out. totally.out.of.my.life.

boohoo so emo.

next.. its you... ur weird. ur cute, or? used to be? i really dunno wads with u sometimes. we used to crap so much, and yet now... no wait. it must be mistake. did u ignore me the last time i said HI? or did you not hear me? but well, its weird. my budds going crazy. i was crazy. and now... why are things left hanging in the air? wonder if u have been a close friend all this while... right now, i feel as if i dont even know you? its weird. weird.

next, its you!! ahhahahaha. pink eh. walao my testimonial.. so sad :(
oh well, ur busy. and another budds crazy over u. but well, hope ur having fun. there was once i thought i was close to you, but then maybe not... and then yes again. and now i'm thinking if its not. how real are we? how fake are we? anw, the first memories of you was chinese chess. wonder if u remember...

next, its you bro!! why u suddenly so busy these few days.. nvr even talk on msn or sms me... walao. another day we shall go to e sauna again muahaha. i'm leaving on tues la. talk to me or else.. it will be another week... sian... wondering if ur feeling and thinking like me. i have a feeling you are... haha... catch u soon bro.

next... and lastly, its you. the most busy thing on earth. its as if u died for 1 week. (choy) oh well, i understand it must be either severe tireness or com spoil, but well i miss you quite a bit?? yeahh... and i cant sms, cause my phone's screwed big time. and everytime i see ur blog, i sacrifice music cause ur song sux, and yet theres no post -.- so sad right...
post soon lei.. and hope ur coping well...
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Alright! those are the people i have been thinking of this whole day. leaves me in confusion.. or issit just the holidays that we are all bored and lonely? oh well. try and guess if you can... i'll go practice a last time for my youth worship tmr...

appreciate it if ur reading anw, hahaha.
byebye!

coldplaying.keith.

Posted by keithc at 7:59 AM

Friday, November 17, 2006

friendships are a facade

screw this la.. fine la we had fun. it was enjoyable... we got closer to each other... and yeah, i foresaw it from the start, people will get pissed. wth lor.. now ppl are pissed and jealous. what am i? everybody's best friend? i cant fit and i cant entertain everyone here? its just a bloody stayover for 3 days... why do ppl get upset.. plus.

1B is over.

i dunno about you la. but that is what it is to me. people left, we have disbanded. only a few people are close to each other now. think about it man. when was the last time u spoke to everyone from 1B. girls and guys alike.

time passes, people change. friends change. characters are different. a class cant be as united as it once was anymore.

rivalry, jealousy, anger, hatred and feelings like that are harboured. ouch, it only hurts others.
and in all these, have u ever thought "why did got make things like that?"
"how can i resolve this issue?"
"is it ever possible for me to make 1B united all over again?"

no right? u never thought of it. cause ur pissed.

and let me say this, even if it has ever crossed your mind, its virtually impossible. people feel uneasy with each other.. old frauds never cleared up.

then some will say "dun want to go la.. got something on" then they are just avoiding the issue.

ITS LIKE THAT. THIS IS LIFE. u got ur friends, i've got mine.
guess we'll never be friends again, i'm sorry. i'm willing, but i doubt u will be..
i still miss the times we sing gay songs and stuff, but now its all over..



even up til now, i wonder if the close friends i have will stick by me in the future. its all a temporal thing.
i want it to last... the sweet moments, the tough moments and the times where we help each other.
i dun ever wanna stop gaying with the guys...
i dun ever wanna stop going to sauna's and having bbqs...

i love you all! and its practically real now, cause of all the years..

but i know God's presence in our lives never end. and in him, we can surely find refuge and help... never doubt God, cause he's always faithful... even if friends suck, God never does.

1b is different already guys... it'll never be the same ever. and gguess wad? the horrible thing is that its natural. it will happen man...

so i wanna say a sincere sorry to the others.. cause we arent as close as before... and i never put in any effort to be..

coldplaying.keith
knew this would have happened.. dammit

Posted by keithc at 3:08 AM