Thursday, March 12, 2009

so the day was spent alone. perhaps not alone because God is always with me, but well. sometimes when socially, it gets overwhelming, its really just time to withdraw. and i enjoy that.
i didnt use to think i was an introvert, because i always complained about being lonely and wanting to leave the house. someone told me not long ago that being introverted/extroverted wasnt about being sociable or anti- social, but whether you are fueled by the absence of people, or the prescence of people. i learned today im an introvert.
but of course, it doesnt just end there. we arent just called to be like this, we still have to spread God's love and serve others, so in the end, the introvert has to learn how to be friendly and the extrovert has to learn how to reflect deeply on his own. (if not he'll be a drifter too, right?)
so it was a good time of swimming, travelling all the way to this secret place to learn this secret thing which i shall not reveal, on my own.
one thing that captured me was when i was in the pool, there was this bunch of competitive swimmers. they literally flew across the pool at the sound of a whistle. butterfly, freestyle, everything they could do. with their goggles and swimming cap on, i knew they werent normal kids. these were most probably swim team peeps who go competitively. hah and i admired them once again, because i was under training once, and left such a team. (p4 la ok, now im some pool floater) so wow u know, i was the only other teen in the pool not competitive. and the others were huge bellied old uncles relaxing in the cool and still keeping fit (eh, aint i doing that?)
so after about an hour, oh my i was tired! last time i remembered doing 40-60 laps per session in total, with breaks and in various styles. these days i cant even sustain 2 laps of freestyle without break. of course breastroke can still go on forever la. and still, i totalled about 20+ laps. urghh think it doesnt help at all honestly. except the tan looks cool. and the water is cool.

so i left the pool to shower, and when i was back with my spectacles to collect my handphone and wallet, i saw this bunch of children, not older than 10 years old, standing in a line across the jumping platforms. they were arched and ready to jump into the pool at the sound of the whistle. i thought to myself, wow theres a new class now, straight after i showered. the children were laughing and joking with the instructor in the kiddiest voices. then suddenly the whistle went off.

6 kids plunged into the pool and transformed into trained adults.

i couldnt believe my eyes! it was the same bunch of people. but i just couldnt make out their kid sized bodies without my specs. it totally amazes me, generally, when someone makes SOMETHING his LIFE. these kids were born in the water, trained since their tender ages. and when i see friends who grew up under these kinda rigourous training, deep inside i aspire to have been that also. trained, excelling in something. and then, it becomes my life.

i never thought of anything being my life before. when i was crazy over skateboarding, my msn nick was SK8 IS LIFE. when i started out playing guitar, it was MUSIC IS LYFE. and when i got crazy over a girl, like really crazy. it became mygirlforlyfe. yes kids, thats how this blog was formed. i keep this blog as a reminder that nothing on this earth will ever become my life again.
and when i mean nothing on this earth i mean nothing on this earth, but something out of this earth.... hmm
when the "specialist" (im refering to ppl who make something their lives) continue on pursueing their area of interest, they will realise that somehow, there's no end to it. they gotta keep pushing their bodies beyond what it is, their minds, their fingers, their brains and keep striving upwards. (that phase i myself understand. stupid girl chasing tactics, mugging music and tests, spending time on wheels at the void deck etc)
but when i pray, instantly i connect with the epitome of creation. something that couldnt be done in the old testament, and only by the atoning sacrifice of one man. i reach God without mugging, withoutmy own effort, and i find peace. and that's because God wants to reach to me!

of course, there is the part of CONTINUOUS growing and being sanctified, TIL we're glorified. that is another part entirely, and for that we have to keep our spiritual disciplines (qt, bible reading, intercession, witnessing, and working out our salvation with fear and trembling. Philippians 2:12 )

so does it mean that now i can reach God, i do nothing else? no! after i receive the blessings from God, then it'll be time to serve and glorify him. (we're called to that too) and we do all these as part of being sanctified. and then comes the question of IN WHAT AREA SHOULD I GLORIFY HIM? with our gifts and talents of course! that is when i will swim for God if i am a swimmer. when i will get all my awards and As if i'm a gifted student. when i will preach the message of God's love if i'm an avid speaker. when i will write about his glory and worship him with all my might if im a musician.

live n loaded rly sparked off something... about playing music live. about channelling that bit of God's love out of the church worship context, and into the world. and i know its gonna be so tough. but hey, God desires a broken spirit and a contrite heart, amen?! (psalm 51:17)

Posted by keithc at 10:00 AM