Friday, August 29, 2008
passions... hm. should we or should we not pursue them?sometimes i feel restrained when i cant go all out doing things i'd love. and i know i'd love. but thats cause i know i love God more, and nothing would go right if its not according to His agenda. perhaps these arent my real passions cause i havent even gotten into them yet, they'd do well as hobbies:)
recently i've been in touch with sports...i realised i have an active clan of basketball players through my classmate elissa aka elibear and i started playing again...
olympics have been great too, seeing others so determined to achieve what they want. when i played with elibear i thought of how good a player i would be if i took basketball as a cca from the start, perhaps i'd be somewhere playing in competitions! swimming too, if i didnt quit... i wonder why God slowly led me away from them one by one?
skateboarding was once a hobbie too, but then i know i purely lost interest in that haha.
here u go, some pics to fill up the space i have now!
there you have it. you see the hoop. you're far away from everyone else cause they'd think u'll miss. your toes barely scrape the 3-point line. you take your time. arch your toes and release the ball.upon release will be the most tense moment. one wrong direction of a finger and the ball wont be in line. but its a relief! you see it sailing through the air, straight as can be. yes, ur waiting and anticipating. hoping the wind is good, hoping the hoop is the right shape.
"ffrickkkk" goes the ball into the net, OH YES THE SWEET SOUND. the joy of scoring from far beats any soccer goal, beats anything else...
Ohh yess this dude has been the inspiration for a bit of my studies as well.. his determination is something we can all learn from! michael phelps.. not so good looking. not so buff. one look and u'll think he's normal. but with an extraodinary mindset.
its fantastic to feel your body cutting the water, and your hands pushing through,making every stroke count. plus the cool feel of the water doesnt make you hot and sweaty but cool all the time. its the glide and cut that makes me feel happy when it comes to swimming! howkiat... i where got fast? michael phelps swims faster than i run la.
i would seriously be happy if ANYONE WOULD ENDORSE ME! HAHA AND YANLING, dun endorse me your $3 dollar goggles, pleasee... lol.and lastly, this is what i mean:
play to believe. alt.metal... it brings a whole level of epic and heavy... electric cello.
however most bands such as these have associations with cults,drugs,satanism and so on... better to just appreciate the music for what it is and not dwelve to deep in them as well!
Posted by keithc at 1:51 AM
Monday, August 25, 2008
i couldnt continue the previous post, i had no idea why. i've been feeling rather empty since sat, and though i received on sunday, i still felt so blah and whatever even today in school.somehow the qt hasnt been speaking to me anymore. all it does to me is that it convicts. and i know over the past few weeks i've been given opportunities to give, opportunities to served the poor, in spirit or in wealth or in any other way. and yet i dun feel any satisfaction, it almost feels like there isnt an incentive.
yesterday's worship was to me one of the best, but somehow everyone assumes its a norm already. if the band could give up so much such as time for practice and such an excellent mindset every single week until it gets boring and normal, what incentive is there to do so every week? we see ariel, dillon and lois improving a lot in skills, even i see a bit of it in myself, and corrine and jan have been singing so much. yeah, its been encouraging and such a great avenue in which God shines through, and yet now it gets so normal...
perhaps our players need a bit of encouragement and affirmation people!
i just woke up from a 3 hour nap just now, still feeling tired. but no, physically i know i'm well rested. there's just this thing about society that keeps us stressed and always in an attitude of conformity. Pastor shared how this can lead to emptyness in our lives on sunday...
i suppose the constant stress of needing to study and yet not studying has been burdening me since last week. Mer's sms was somehow God sent, matt 11:28 " come to me all who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest."
following which was "take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
its that easy, give it up to God. how could we miss such a comforting promise?
his yoke is easy and burden is light after all. i think i found new energy to face the weeks of study to come already!
Posted by keithc at 7:45 AM
Friday, August 22, 2008
alright! first of all, welcome to my new blog!! this is my first skin since i dunno when that i didnt make on my own.. heheh. i got lazy and i needed space desperately so i just took one of the popular ones on blogskins.com.green and pink are my dominant, most used colours in my pencil box which i use for highlighting, studying and making notes. i use pink for worship practices and sermon notes as well! hahaha...
why pink... theres just something about this darker shade of pink that i really like. its bold, its wild and whacky. and yet theres something soft about it, unlike the hue of deep blue, or black. though its sharp and contrasting, yet theres something soothing about it.. hmm im not good enough a lit student to express my feelings about a COLOUR hahaha....
why so much rubbish on top? simply because i know i have space now whahha...
its been another tiring week, and knowing promos are drawing closer doesnt make it less stressful. somehow, i cant do anything radical enough to kickstart the studying mood in me.. hopefully after this sunday and by leaving my guitar stuff in church, i'd be more fired up to study? also, CCA is going to stop.. which will open up my weds and fris for more tuition or night study at cj..
cant help but acknowledge 2 of my study inspirations, valerie and dillon... hahaha. everytime i feel like slacking and stuff i'll remind myself of them, how they study and how they could do it even if results and other commitments drag them down. Eugene as well as he shares about his past... ohh did i mention his past was almost 30 years ago? ehhh~ sorrayye.
last week's flu carried on to this week too. and the MC i took on tuesday made me super slack over the next few days. haha thanks howie and ariel for coming and saying hi, hahaha. was feeling horrible in school and stuff. felt like ponning everyday too cause life gets too exciting when you dont go to school on a school day. i know it feels like this now cause i'm still sick, hopefully when im well school will get interesting again!
i feel like i have a lot more to type about, but cant rly think for now. its okay since my blog's long enough! update laterr.
Posted by keithc at 10:56 PM
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
nonono.. its never enough.the Lord is showing me more and more of all my flaws.. the things i've overlooked. the better i think i am, the bigger the flaw in me grows.
i wonder if "i think, therefore i am" is a valid quote for christians. because you can never think your own way into success or freedom. if all comes from your own head, it is indeed risky and dangerous.
i thank the Lord for revealing himself more and more to me this week. how i've lost out so much in so many areas. the reminder of who i am in church, the seriousness of certain problems i totally overlooked. the desperation and sincerity i used to have for our AYM. have i gotten all frustrated at other things to overlook all these? Joel has been doing lots for me so as to aid me in not burning up anymore, but in doing my best elsewhere, somehow other things still have to be sacrificed. so many things, in fact. the important things to other people have been lost in the making..
when i look at it, its almost impossible to fit all of our responsibilities into 24 hours.
our work/school. though its dreaded, it has to be done.
discipleship duties, which involves constant quiet time.
mentoring and fellowship, which involves communion with peers.
seeking for the lost.
but no, it is possible. i just need to do my small part and rely on Him to provide me with the ability to everyday. Grace in school as well.
Dear Lord i need you to sustain me. with the door you opened in me, give me the strength to walk through it bravely as well. amen.
Posted by keithc at 7:18 AM
Sunday, August 03, 2008
repentance.the step after forgiveness. our response to his grace.
i asked the Lord to break me in a way where i will only rely on him this week.
Pray for me people!
thanks nicole, glenda and bonnie:)
Posted by keithc at 9:19 AM
Friday, August 01, 2008
this week has been pretty tough.somehow i feel my qt hasnt been effective... i actually stopped fasting for a few days. i told myself, "
if qt becomes like an everyday progression then im gonna break the routine, its getting meaningless. i will work it out with God tonight, then fast tmr."
throughout the week, i thought i was okay, on track.. making effort to do qt even during break on some days. and then slipping out of the faith for a while again.
did i mention sin plays a part?
did i get back to God at night in the end? nopee. so busy and so tired.. and lacking so much sleep.
i couldnt even do qt in the bus.. just slept..
so many bad stuffs happened.. i cant even think what went right.
mrs tie is pissed off with my guitar commitments...
went late for worship rehearsal today... sound check was bad..
stayed up til 2am to do my econs essay on tuesday, and it was all wrong.
lost in maths lecture
lost with econs...
lost my wallet...
everything just seems to be hanging and drifting. and it seems to be okay, no problem. drift lor.. this.. heck care attitude and all is just so tempting to adopt when ur in school studying, and when the going gets tough.
its like my chem tutorial. see qn dunno how to do, skip alr.. cause will discuss in tutorial anyway. but why skip? so can sleep earlier..
and mrs tie wasnt happy at all... though she really loves us all and so on.
that excellence is lost. the will and fire to study just goes away.
and wads with all the distractions.
first the eyecandy thing comes along. and i get all high.
then i get to play guitar for worship. all high again.
then there's fop... all high?
joel's birthday...
founders day dinner...
parents. (constitutes of almost all my problems at home)
it draws me away from the centre, the heart of God. the things that attract the heart of men, are nothing short of insidious. insidious = nice/attractive, but potentially fatal. hahah i learned this from markk this week.
what seems to be so harmless actually does affect you without you even knowing.. and of all the distractions, being tired seems to be a huge issue for me. so, that adds another wrong into this week.. the lack of rest.
i just broke down after my mum nagged me over my lost wallet. i'd rather she just scold me and get done with it... but nono. mums nag. nagging brings me to a point which is worse than being scolded... ok tts besides the point.
i asked God to show me my week. one of the most eventful ones.. slowly and reveal to me why stuff werent going right, and though i seem to be feeling right about it, some consequences that came couldnt be justified for what i did.
and i realised its because i've thought everything was going ok... relax. take it EEEEEAAAsayy.
and i now know i need a wake up call. things cant be slackened to this state. i gotta start sleeping early, focussing in school. being punctual. and though i dont pon anything, my mind isnt in class. so whats the point? its as good as ponning in the eyes of God.
and its because i thought everything was ok, that i didnt rely on God as much as i needed to.
no, everything's not okay.
i realised everyone did well for mid years too, those in my school from another class, or another school. ppl are getting Cs, Ds, Es... i'm getting S and Us... there's a huge difference.
T11, what mr kam says is indeed true, that we're one of the last classes already... our grades cant be taken for "normal" or "expected". we gotta work much harder this term...
already, the whole econs topic this term is screwed... maclaurin's is bad too. so much harm has already been done in my school life. can God recover all that for me?
and my own heart which has been so... conceited. so confident in my faith. will the Lord break it for good this time so as to wake me up? id accept any kind of bomb in my life now, if it'll cause me to rely. i'm desperate to be desperate.
Seeking the Lord. one out of the 4 steps to revival.. its specifically catered to ppl who have problems, big or small, and leave God out of them. i've become one of them this week.. over small problems i didnt feel were important enough to address.. and it affected my attitude.
Jesus said, "i am the way, the truth, and the life".
i'm just so blind at times. so imperfect. open the eyes of my heart Lord, i want to see you.
