Friday, December 14, 2007
i'm going crazy.
it feels like puberty all over again...
i'm waste. i'm a trash.
am i being testosterone controlled again? by my male ego?
i dont want to be myself anymore. starting today, i am gone.
starting today, nothing i do will be for myself.
starting today, i will not crack lame jokes. whether to appease myself, or others.
starting today, i shall renew my spirit, i shall walk in the light again.
starting today, i will seek first the kingdom of God, and not expect anything else to follow through.
starting today, i will combat my sin with my gang.
starting today, i will not succumb to pretty faces.
starting today, hot blood will have a higher boiling point.
starting today, i shall find my purpose which was lost.
help me Lord Jesus, to be the keith you want me to be, not the keith that keith wants to be.
for what is existance without God?
its just existing to exist.
what is a rock and roll life with gear, girls, drinks and drugs?
its just existing to exist.
what is self boosting of self-esteem?
crap.
what is fantasy?
time wastage.
time to wake up, everything Self-provoked is worldly. everything that makes you smile is worldly.
but when God makes you smile, its not considered a smile. its a rare, much sought after joy that you cant find on your own.
the peace which transcends all understanding.
its time to forget vaughan, forget hendrix, and just play for God.
its time to forget paul, forget girls, and just concentrate for his work.
all this, not by my own effort, but with the help of God, if he grants it.
Posted by keithc at 1:36 AM
