Sunday, July 01, 2007
create in me a new heart..... for like the 20th thousandth time???
this week's been very cold, with 3 events giving me sleepless nights, headaches and bad blood.
about the miss ong incident, i dont wish to post anything about it. i was pissed off, with a RIGHT reason. she was angry, but she didnt understand... now if ur thinking i'm crapping, it'd be better to ask, i'll surely enlighten you.
the truth hurts, the truth sounds very lame. the truth will injure others, but i'm happy i remained calm, holding on to God though i was ready to kill someone.
thats for the 1st incident on physics tys hw...
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2nd one was when miss ong, YES, after that day, she called me up to ASK about the guitar that we brought to vietnam... i was rly tired and pissed.. with enping and YC at macs, (thank God for their company..XD)
she said it went missing, and i was like WTH, one event after another. blahblahblah, we nearly had to pay for it, when all of a sudden pop song yang found it in the lvl2 classroom and we were all so relieved. actually, i wasnt so relieved, cause i was still overly pissed whenever i see her.
thank god too for that, if not i would have blown... that will be 200+ bucks divided by 4 ppl... hmm.
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3rd event... english lesson on friday.
it should be pretty obvious if ur in the F band, and miss wong had to bring up the incident... i swear it was deliberate. i have ppl to testify for me as well....
i lost all my cool when she picked on me 3 times and after that said "well its really too early to be drunk"
at that point i finally raised my voice back at her. wadever la, she said other statements about me being "not repentant" "can carry on drinking la?" "look at your face, you dont even look sorry"
sorry hor, i'm really sorry for myself. being stuck in a non aircon classroom with you.
somehow, i dun feel so pissed cause in my head she has been labelled "mad". i cant find a reason for complaining to the school about her, cause she always gets her way. 50+ and menapausing.. haiya give her la. mad means mad.
there was a staring incident when i looked directly at her with eyes that could kill. it was pretty long, i guess about 30seconds? when every second i felt my heart rate beat faster and my body tensing up..
i thought at that point "shit, if i continue i will surely stand up and throw my chair at her, that wont be what is good" then i did something very cowardly... i looked away and pretended nothing happened...
though i thought i let myself down at that point, after english there were ppl who told me it was her fault, and they were also wishing i didnt throw anything at her, cause it would mean greater trouble.
as i went home, i reviewed on my actions... at least i didnt do anything physical... i know it was sinning already to talk back to her, what for defend myself?? (with thanks to eric) why do i need the world to know i'm innocent? just let her humtam la.
that will be my next challenge.. to see if i can put up without saying a thing on her next personal attack...
meanwhile, i'll just try to focus for english, and PHYSICS.
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my tough week was really rewarded by my weekends, which i have decided to spam cause there's monday to finish up work. would have been better with soccer instead of tuition though...
bought my AMP from sweelee sale!! 426 become 212.. power right. roland cube20x... wanted the 30x though, but it was too expensive...
got it for jingming too, cabbing to church with 2 amps...
a pink tortoise pick for joysim...
a FINS pick for joyeo's ex bday present (YES I KNOW I"M BUDGET)
a BOSS super overdrive at 55 bucks instead of 100+
some strings
overall, queued from 11 to 2pm to get in, and 1 hour more for the payment... really cool, all the pedals i wanted were wiped out (MY BOSS DS-1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
after tt, cabbed to church for meeting... wasnt really discussing about my area so i didnt really get to chip in much...
then dinner with dil trace and jan... they are cute ppl, esp dil nowadays.
haha 2 pepsis, 2 amps and 2 chicken thighs. great things come in pairs...
freak la raging hormones again, after the movie transformers with church ppl again today... cant stand it, mmust go commit to God again...
a new heart, for those who have hardened their hearts. PASTOR WAS TALKING TO ME.
i have surely hardened my heart.. after betrayals, distancing, lies and clique- business... have i lost the love for those around me? avoiding ppl?
i gotta pray and get my heart back, my heart for God, for the ppl around me, even if they dont care or give a shit... i really gotta give my best...
YES, I WILL. i promise to love...
fire for the CG's coming back, will discuss with ian again....
also, will take a step up in my disciplines... if not how to be an example? (though i know i have already screwed up too much... there must be a point when we get back up...)
keep loving, leave the rest to God,
He will provide everything.
Posted by keithc at 9:46 AM
