Thursday, June 21, 2007

re living memories

june hols has come and passed like a year had gone by... many things have really changed.. as i look back, no, not back into the p school days or sec1 days... but just back into last year, i realised things have rly changed...

yesterday when i borrowed the key from mr chua and opened the council room, he mentioned about it being an EVIL DEED. though i know he was joking, but i felt pretty bad as well... its so different, when
you once had the key to the bb room, but now u dont...
you once had some control, and now you dont...
you have the bb room key once again, but ur opening a different door...

really made me feel like.. bb is over, all over again. just like after farewell...

standing at the balcony, looking down at the guys and waving to lijia, i really felt like i lost a huge part of me, and the boys all growing and moving on whereas i'm still stuck back there. i really miss sec2 bb days when we just run around blindly and aimlessly, as well as sec3 when we went through the pressure of not being able to do much though we're coses...

tagged at alvin's board, and he replied with something... pretty hurting, though he most prob didnt mean it that way... makes me feel so out...
did i choose not to take part in LDC?? yeah... but i had a reason, and its pretty obvious... but i always want to be part of u all. its just... i missed it la, so too bad lor...

reply to alvin's tag: yep, and i'm not sure if i'm ever gonna join u all doing the things u do again...

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raging hormones have recently gotten lotsa hold on me, not sure if its a good or bad thing, since it keeps me from emoing.
i always think of you whenever i look up into the sky and its star-less, moon-less. i have no idea why... issit because when i was younger i used to do that and think of you? plus listening to songs like "sleeping with the lights on" and "here without you" and "perfect" everything just floods back in...
you never used to talk to me at all, but now u can so simply say hi... i'm glad, but arh. caught in between again. just thought if u could treat me like that last time... wadever, so long alr...

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back to friendly issues, i'm so much happier i can finally talk openly with the dude, makes my relationship life almost complete! but, as i've learned, i will continue not to emphasize that much into relationships already... life goes on again for me, wooo. i'm feeling freeier then ever, just being hi and bye friends... isnt always a bad thing...
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this hols, ended up not as good as i thought.. though i caught up on guitar stuff, but i failed to join wen, nat and gang for soccer... twice already... once cause of tuition and once cause of the vietnam outing. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

basketball with the old gang is unconfirmed... doubt torsten can make it this sat... ahhhhhhhhh

outing with the usual gang is also off... cause of RND stuff... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

on a positive note, s2e really helped... and do i look like i care when ppl give me that* look when i tell them i'm in s2e... freak off la... let me study in peace can? triple science cannot go into s2e arh, not happy arh...
learned more guitar stuff with my youth leader, and jammed after worshipp prac.. another session tmr!
vietnam outing was good, learned how to iceskate on first try, and bbq was great too. made good friends with isaac luke also.. they are nice ppl.. ahhaha.
ARH GTG BB
*

that was officially 14 hours ago when i had to rush off to rnd, surprisingly, it was really fun... had a good experience wearing the blazers and acting prestigeous... hahaha. taking lame shots... (last time i remembered it was with miss lui and science club ppl at National junior robotics competition! and guess what? FERN WAS THERE AS WELL!! p5 okay!!)
no habit of posting pics, so well too bad.

turns out that basketball gang is almost over... no one replied except xh, and i doubt we'll ever touch a basketball til the year ends... even so, who knows what will happen to relationships that have not been touched for a year?

i remember someone telling me this, it should be rather distinct...
we decide on which friends will last, and which will not... u'll know it in your heart. and when u know its not worth investing time in them, then let them go, u cant have friends by your side all your life...

instead of taking MY ORIGINAL approach to trying my best to be everyone's friend, i've chosen another friend's perspective... it should be obvious too....
i've decided "since their gonna go, then i might as well let everyone go now" which makes perfect sense, since everyone's gonna go eventually... its what's eternal that counts...
but of course, your friends are still there... those that say hi, give a nice smile and help you IF they can.. i'm not saying they are bad, but face it, theres no true friend there for u... but one.


one.


are you expecting too much from me? if thats the case, then i should forget about you too.
and i mean you, or everyone. reading my post.
and trust me, when i've decided to forget about you, it wont be very obvious to you...

you wont even think its hitting you.

Posted by keithc at 7:48 PM